Author Archives: Daniel

Join our first Course for the New Year

It’s a New Year – Make Your Life More Awesome! NLP助你羊年喜气洋洋

23 Feb 15
Daniel
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We all have challenges.
We all have obstacles to overcome.
We all have things that have held us back.
But what if there was a way to make things better?
But what if there was a direct way for you to increase your emotional intelligence?
But what if there was an easy and affordable way to free yourself from your past habits and limitations, and get the life you want?

我们都会面临挑战。
我们都有需要跨越的障碍。
我们都会遇到阻碍我们前行的事情。
但是,
我们可以让事情变得更好,
我们有直接提升情商的方法,
我们有简单实惠的方式,让自己摆脱旧有的习惯和限制性思维,获得自己真正想要的生活,

我们的NLP课程以轻松的方式,帮助大家探索如何使用和练习NLP技巧。五次课程中,将向大家介绍具体的技巧,策略和观念,让大家能即刻接受测试,在实际生活中运用。

Our NLP units are an accessible way for you to discover how to use and practise Neuro-Linguistic Programming to date. In these five sessions you will be introduced to specific techniques, strategies and ideas that you will be able to test and apply immediately. Here are some of the topics you might expect:

Paul W James目标确定法 Well-Formed Outcomes

运用动机探索、神经科学和对创造奇迹的超级成功人士的研究学习结果,掌握最佳的目标设定方法,创造成果。更快实现惊人成果,减少压力,追随你内心真正想要的目标。

Create outcomes and goals that harness the very best practices in goal setting from motivation research, neuroscience and benchmarking those super achievers who make magic happen. Achieve amazing results faster, with less stress and that are more aligned with what you really want in your heart.

眼睛解读线索 Eye accessing cues

“眼睛是灵魂的窗户” – 眼睛影响我们的思维方式,向他人展示出我们如何思考。
要是你只是看着别人,就能知道他们在想些什么
要是你只是看着恰当的方向就能思考得更加清楚
要是你能利用所学的眼睛解读线索的技巧,只是通过朝特定的方向移动眼球,就能帮助他人走出过去的伤痛……

“The eyes are the window to your soul” – and they both affect how you think and show how you think to others. What if you could know how someone else is thinking just by watching them? What if you could think more clearly just by looking in the right direction? What if you could help someone let go of past trauma simply by moving their eyes in the specific way you can learn as we explore eye accessing cues?

Aaron Wallace在潜移默化中卓越 Stalking to Excellence

你是否曾经困在某种糟糕的状态里?就像“不知不觉”陷入某种状态里?可能只是感觉焦虑,或是恐惧,或是罪恶。
现在你可以学会一种方式,让自己在糟糕状态开始之前就避免。就好像某个让你觉得不舒服的人,现在你再看到他们心情不会受影响,就好像他们再也不会对你造成干扰。

Have you ever got stuck in a bad state?Like one that just “crept up on you”? Maybe it’s a feeling of anxiety. Or fear. Or guilt. And what if you could learn a way to get yourself out of that before it even began. It would be like you could see that person who used to make you feel bad and just feel fine and continue to perform as if they don’t bother you anymore.

换框法 Reframing

“事情没有好坏之分,但是思维模式让我们看到好坏。”
发生在我们身上的事件能改变我们的感受。但是事件对我们的影响远不及我们对这些事情的解读对我们的影响来的深远!
我们是否丢过工作?
和恋人分手或是钱包被偷?
被朋友背叛或是发现朋友们不为人知的一面?
换框法能让我们掌握自己应对发生事情时的思维方式,让我们能享受自己想要的生活,看到世界本来的面貌。

“Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
What happens to us can make change how we feel. But not nearly as much as the way we interpret what happens to us! Have we lost our job? Broken up from a relationship or dodged a bullet? Had a friend betray us or had someone reveal themselves? Reframing allows us to take charge of how we think about what happens so we can get on with enjoying the life we want and see the world as it really is.

Robbie Zhang facilitating NLP见见我们的引导师 Facilitators

负责此课程的培训师都是上海优秀的高级NLP执行师,每一位都是由中国NLP学院主席Daniel Smith亲自挑选的。下面是部分引导师的介绍:

Your facilitators are some of the best NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners in Shanghai, each personally selected by the Chairman of The China NLP Society, Daniel Smith. Facilitators include Paul James, Aaron Wallace and Robbie Zhang.

课程信息 Course Information

时间Date and Time

周一晚 7:00-9:00 p.m.
3月2日, 3月9日, 3月16日, 3月23日, 3月30日
Monday nights, 7:00-9:00pm
March 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th.

授课语言 Language

英语,如有需要可提供英中翻译,课堂提供中英双语讲义
English with translation into Chinese as required, including bilingual handouts.

地点Venue

上海市静安区新闸路831号12I室
Room I, 12 Floor, 831 XinZha Road (at Shimen Road), Central Shanghai

课程投资(5个周一晚)
1500 RMB (per person for five sessions on Monday nights)

报名付款方式 Payment

支付宝 Alipay: *protected email* (上海言易商务咨询有限公司)

最多15人
Maximum of 15 seats

What a view! We were hiking over New Years

How are you enjoying the start of 2015?

23 Jan 15
Daniel
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It’s three weeks into the start of the new year. I hope that you’re enjoying it so far!

Our New Years period was spent hiking in the mountains with our eldest son. While he’s adventurous, 9km of walking and scrambling across some scary rock faces were a big challenge for him. Yet it gave me a great opportunity to practise NLP!

Probably inspired by a book I read recently, I ended up focused on three main things:

  1. What’s your state?
    When we were climbing, when we were in a stuck state everything was harder. Our bodies were less flexible. We couldn’t reach as far. And the tension in our muscles made every step that much harder. When we relaxed, when we changed our focus, and when we used more constructive internal dialog, everything got easier. As you think about the coming year, what state do you want to be accessing? What physical and emotional condition do you want to have as your ‘normal’?
  2. What’s your strategy?
    Sometimes the technique we are using just doesn’t work very well. Some of the people with whom we were hiking had this amazing ankle flexibility that literally let them walk up walls! Not something that my ankles can do – when I tried, I just started sliding! Likewise, the organisers managed to choose to use dynamic ropes as safety lines rather than the static (non-stretchy) ropes that should be used: It’s not ‘bad’, it just doesn’t work! So as you think about the year ahead, what strategies are you using, or could you use, to get what you want?
  3. What’s your story?
    We all have a story. Sometimes it’s a comedy. Sometimes it’s a tragedy. Sometimes it’s filled with twists and turns. But your subconscious keeps track of who you see yourself as being and helps keep you behaving in a way that’s consistent with that story. That’s why it’s so challenging for people to make the big changes. For someone to lose weight – and keep it off – you need to not only find a great state and an effective strategy, but you also need to find a new story. To make more money or some other goal, and keep that change going, you not only need to get into an effective state and work towards your goal, but you also need to have a new story about who you are. That’s working on your inner game.

So I’m excited about the year ahead. Over the break, I was able to reconnect with what’s really important to me and feel a sense of purpose and meaning in my work with individuals and groups. That feels great, and is just what I need to start the year.

We are using some new strategies, like the China NLP School sessions we now have running on Monday and Thursday evenings and using an email service rather than running it all ourselves.

And I am working on a new story for myself. While I love being part of what many consider to be the best Practitioner and Master Practitioner trainings in Asia, with our first NLP Trainer’s Training coming up in May-June, there are going to be a whole new group of outstanding NLP Trainers in China and across the region.

I hope that’s been interesting for you. And that you can take advantage of the strange opportunity to have a second “New Year’s” with Chinese New Years just a few weeks away.

We’ve got a bunch of great events coming up, ranging from our weekly NLP School sessions on Monday and Thursday nights, to our 30th NLP Practitioner weekend workshop coming up in April and our intensive Master Practitioner in May and Trainer’s Trainings in June. Hope to hear how we can help you in 2015!

Calibration, Sensory Acuity and Lie Detection

07 Jan 15
Daniel
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It’s really hard to tell whether someone is lying to you.

You might know someone that has a characteristic ‘tell’ – a mannerism that lets you know that they are lying. Or you’ve heard about changes in the amount of eye contact that people make when they lie. Or you’ve been really studying hard to pick the different emotions through microexpressions (a la Lie to Me/ Paul Ekman). Or you’ve learned about how the direction someone looks can indicate how someone is thinking as Bandler and Grinder noticed back in the 1970s. Or you figure, “just give them a polygraph” (which is better than most people but still far from perfect). Maybe you’ve tried Liespotting or learning about What Every BODY is Saying, but let’s face it: in real time, it’s still really really hard!

One question that seemed to be taken for granted: Do people actually move differently when they lie?

Our friends at Cambridge were wondering the same thing. And so they figured they would test it out. Using full body motion capture suits!

Researchers used those fancy (and expensive) suits – like they use in the movies for special effects – to take away codifying inherently subjective interpretations from human observers (upon which other methods rely) and trade it in for objective, conclusive evidence of how people behave when lying. The findings were pretty clear: The sum of joint displacements indicates lying 75% of the time. Better still, this related to guilt and was independent of anxiety, cognitive load or cultural background, so the researchers guess they can get it up to 82% with some extra refinements.

It’s great to have this validate the calibration drills and exercises in our NLP Practitioner training!

Annoyed to calm with OIC

19 Sep 14
Daniel

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One of the exercises I use most something we call the “OIC” (short for “Outcome, Intentions, Consequences”). This process looks to understand the intention of what you are doing now. After all, any behaviour has a positive intention, doesn’t it? On Monday night, we were reviewing how to lead someone – a client, direct report or even friend – through this process. The participant who ‘volunteered’ for the demonstration was getting “annoyed” by how long it took her to get to work. For many of us, the typical response is to empathise, to acknowledge that catching the subway to work can be annoying, and then maybe to give suggestions.

And that’s fine. That response is a choice.
Except that for many people, it’s the only ‘choice’ they have. And if you’ve only got one response, you don’t have a choice, do you?

By applying OIC, we were able to discover that what they really wanted was to experience ‘reflection’ and ultimately a sense of ‘calm’ that she couldn’t quite describe. And while doing the state of “annoyed” wasn’t giving her the results she wanted, her higher intention was very clear! By the end of the short exercise, instead of dreading or perhaps tolerating, our client was looking forward to her next trip to work.

This is a simple example of the sort of changes we do throughout our NLP Practitioner training. And since we have quite a few people interested in getting the benefits of the finest NLP training available in English in China (and we believe, in Asia!) we have decided to offer another training before the end of the year.

This will be your last chance to join our intimate, personalised and profoundly transformative experiences for the next six months. So please check your calendar for the weekends of:

  • 31 October – 3 November, and
  • 7 – 10 November

As usual, we intend to offer these sessions on Friday evenings, all-day Saturday and Sunday, and Monday evenings, so you don’t need to take any time off from work.

Well-formed Outcomes: Smarter than ‘SMART’

19 Dec 13
Daniel

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New Year is a wonderful opportunity to reflect on how far we’ve come and where we want to go next. Many people will set ‘new years resolutions’. That they will break within weeks. If not days. There are many tips (eg here) on how to get better results. Here I want to focus on how we can use NLP in this context.

  1. What do you want, specifically? When?
    Make sure you state the outcome as something that you want (rather than something that you don’t want). If you’re striving to eliminate something – whether it’s sugar, smoking or success – phrase the outcome as something that you want. For example, “Consistently enjoy coffee without sugar” or “To be free from the habit of smoking” or “To earn $x000 in 2014″. Big goals are great here – provided you feel you can reach them or at least can act as if you can.
  2. How will you know when you’ve got it?
    Make it measurable: What’s your evidence procedure for reaching your outcome? What will you see? What will you hear? What will you feel, smell or taste? Do you want to go for a week without sugar in your coffee? Do you want to go for 30 days (or more) without smoking? Will you have a work contract for earning that amount – or will the money be in your account? If you want to have a better relationship, how specifically will you know?
  3. Can it be done?
    Setting big goals is a great thing. The bigger the goal, the more inspiring it can be, and the harder you are likely to work. Provided you believe that it can actually be done. I like to talk about making things here possible on two levels: Objectively and subjectively. Objectively achievable means that it is physically possible for that to be done. Subjectively achievable means that you believe that you can do it. While there are few things as inspiring as a big goal, there are few things as disinspiring as an impossible one.
  4. What resources do I have?
    What would I like to have? What could make this easier/ more enjoyable/ more congruent with the rest of what I’m doing?
  5. When, specifically, do you want to reach your outcome?
    And once you’ve set that date, what are the steps to take working back to today?
  6. What do I want that for?
    What is my intention for being/ having/ doing/ experiencing that? While a goal can be a good thing, they often point to things that are even more important – and that sometimes can be even easier to enjoy.
  7. How does it impact your life as a whole?
    Does this outcome take into account the need for balance? Is it aligned with what you really want? What are your highest intentions – and how will they be impacted? Connect with your intuition: When you think about having this outcome, how do you feel? Does having that outcome make you feel excited, passionate and thrilled? Or anxious, scared and nervous?
  8. Is it worth it?
    Consider the costs and benefits. Short term and long term. For yourself and for those around you. When all is said and done, is it worth it?

We talk more about this in the context of building Well-Formed Outcomes but hopefully this will help you for now.

NLP for increasing your Influence Quotient

19 Mar 13
Daniel
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Last Friday a small group of us were exploring how NLP can be used for influence. While the language patterns of the Meta Model, Milton Model and even Metaphor Model can be easily applied to increase your “Influence Quotient”, we were exploring this topic more comprehensively.

The first way that NLP can help increase your Influence Quotient is to help you focus on your intention. Influential communicators are powerful and congruent; they have found a way to get all their butterflies flying in formation so that their words, their tonality and their gestures are aligned to communicate a single message. For some people, this sort of alignment comes naturally; they say what they deeply mean and deeply mean whatever they say. For the rest of us, our own doubts – about ourselves or about what we are communicating – can come through even about something that we feel passionate about. By identifying, understanding and aligning with the intention of our message, we can immediately become more influential.

An easy way to do this is through Grinder’s Outcome, Intention, Consequences pattern. Augmenting this with the Core States process (covered in our trainings) can turn this elegant framework into a transformative process.

Another way to amplify your Influence Quotient is to work on your state. As a communicator, whether you are making a sales presentation, negotiating with your boss, speaking with your spouse or even your child, your state might be the biggest predictor of your ability to influence those around you. One of our recent participants told of how when he was on the ATP Tour (men’s professional tennis), a very young Boris Becker walked into the dressing room. This was before Becker had established himself by being the youngest ever Wimbledon Champion, and despite being surrounded by greats including Ivan Lendl, Becker’s “presence” so totally filled the room that everybody went silent. When you are communicating and want to be more influential, check your state! Take an inventory:

  • How are you breathing?
  • What is your posture?
  • What are you focusing upon?
  • What are you saying – to yourself, and to those around you?

But how can we change our state? Other than changing your physiology as I mentioned just before, changing your submodalities can have a powerful impact. By changing submodalities, one of my clients moved a negative, nagging, annoying voice that was leaving him immobilized with fear into a supportive, seductive reminder of the important risks for which he needed to prepare.

What are these magical submodalities? In the last example, the location of the voice and the sound quality are both examples of submodalities. For example, if you could imagine a beautiful picture, and really look at it, where do you see it? Straight in front of you? Up to the right? How far away is it? Is it in vivid colour or black and white? These are all examples of submodalities.

When I was a university student, I remember how through the semester the assignments and exams felt a long way away yet the day before an assignment was due or the night before an exam, the reality of that deadline would creep up on me and be straight in front or even on top of me! By pushing that internal representation of the assignment or exam away, I could relax and focus even amid intense pressure.

As a student of influence, notice how you are using submodalities to internally represent your message. How attractive does your message seem to you? How could you make it even more attractive or even seductive? What could you do to communicate that to your audience?

Intention, State and Submodalities are powerful tools for increasing our ability to influence those around us. Another tool that we can use to increase our Influence Quotient is that of Perceptual Positions. Merely recognizing that there are multiple perspectives at all can help us better frame and transfer our thoughts and feelings; the Perceptual Positions exercise (what we refer to as “Moving Chairs”) of moving from 3rd to 1st to 2nd to 3rd for a specific context, observing from a non-attached 3rd Position and a congruent 2nd Position, and recognizing that 1st Position is, while immensely valuable and important, just one perspective, can be very helpful. Try it out for yourself – notice how much your Influence Quotient lifts when you deliberately shift perceptual positions.

There is a lot that NLP can do to help you become more influential. In the two hours that we had to play with, exploring Intention, State, Submodalities, and Perceptual Positions was pretty ambitious… but good fun.